Now What?

It's been almost three weeks since I left that all consuming work-from-home job in local news. Since then, I have significantly caught up on housework, quality time with the family and quiet time.

I have sent out at least a dozen resumes for freelance work and even a few emails for volunteer work. I've played guitar. I've played trains. I've set up play dates. And I have done a lot of laundry.

Now, I'm just feeling bored.

I feel like I should be doing something. Not in the sense that I feel like there is something I forgot that needs to be done (like move another load of laundry) but like there is something I should be doing with my life that I'm not doing, only I'm not sure what that is.

So for now, I'm just waiting. I'm not sure what I'm waiting for. But I am waiting.

When Did the TV Censors Quit?

I was watching an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey this afternoon and found myself wondering when TV stopped being censored.

What got me questioning this wasn't so much all the cursing that isn't bleeped out (since when can you say the b-word and the synonym for donkey on TV?) but the fact that the word retarded was bleeped over. You can use the Lord's name in vain over and over again, and you can call your mom a b*tch, but you can't tell her to stop treating you like you're retarded?

I am, of course, not trying to say retarded is an OK word to use in any situation. But I also don't think it is right to say Oh My God unless you are actually praying or reading the Bible.

Part of my objection to all of this does have to do with my being a mother and understanding all too well how much influence the world will have on my 3-year-old son. He came home from daycare saying "Oh My God" this spring and we have had to tell him regularly that, in our house, we don't say that. We say oh my goodness (not even oh my gosh).

And no, I wouldn't expose him to the Real Housewives franchise. But I find myself more and more offended by what is on television these days.

First, I asked my husband about television censorship. He was sitting right next to me, and as a social studies teacher he is pretty knowledgeable in these things. He said something to the effect that Hollywood is all about pandering to the lowest common denominator and there are no morals left in society.

That still didn't answer my question. When did TV censorship end? On the show Madmen, which is set in the 1960s, they are complaining about the censors, so it had to be after that. But when?

So I did what any reasonable woman would do. I googled it. And after not finding much information, I stumbled upon this article by the Museum of Broadcast Communication.
Apparently, censorship initially was due to assumptions that the viewing audience was a bunch of WASPs, which as a white Anglo-Saxon protestant, I don't have a problem with. However in the mid-1970s, demographics began to change.

"Ratings researchers began to break down the viewing audience for individual programs according to specific demographic characteristics, including age, ethnicity, education and economic background. In this context, the baby boomer generation--younger, better educated, with more disposable income--became the desired target audience for television programming and advertising," the article reports.

So my husband was right. It was about advertising and making money. (I am sick of everyone having their hand on my wallet!!)

The article explains that special interest groups started fighting for equal screen time. And I have no problem with non-WASPs being portrayed on TV. But I don't understand why cursing and partial or total nudity is allowed on TV. And I really do not understand what minorities getting equal screen time has to do with the decline in morality on television. It's just a lame excuse, I think.

I know RHONJ is on cable TV, but at the same time, the past seasons are now replayed on network TV without any extra editing. Is there a difference between networks and cable anymore?

For the record, I tried to cancel television last week and was told that in order to not pay through the nose for internet (on Cablevision or FIOS, the only options I could find in my area), we had to also have cable television and phone. We went for the smallest package, but at the same time, I find it offensive that I can't get internet without also getting TV.

I am working on figuring out how to put "parental controls" on the TV, more because I don't want to see this garbage than because I am worried about my son seeing something he shouldn't. And I know we could just turn the TV off, but we won't.

What do you think about what's on TV these days? I personal wish we still had censors. Sure, married couples couldn't share a bed, but unmarried couples couldn't either.

Keep Calm, Carry On

The panic completely set in today. I have no job. My last paycheck is already spent and I don't know when or where the next one will be. I guess this is where the faith part is supposed to kick in.

At the Leadership Summit last week, someone (Lee Schlesinger, maybe) spoke about how you can't predict financial future based on past market performance. Kind of like how Bill and I bought at the top of the housing bubble saying you can never lose money on a house in Bergen County. You can never be certain of what the market will do.

With God, however, its different. We can be confident of our future in Him precisely because of past performance. He is constant, unchanging, unwavering. I am so grateful for that. Over the years I have seen Him do what only He can do. Not just once, but time and time again. And it is because of this, because I have seen what I've seen and know what I know about God, that I know I can trust Him to get us through this.

In all reality, our checkbook may be unbalanced right now, but in the grand scheme of things, we are ridiculously well-off. Even after cutting out my salary. Of course, we are still going to have to make some major spending cuts to get things balanced again.

Later this week, we will be looking over the figures together and taking a much closer look at wants versus needs, costs versus benefits, to see what we can cut and where we can't. It is going to be challenging and hopefully we can agree on what to cut and what to keep.

If any of my thrifty friends have suggestions for cutting costs (without cutting coupons) please share in the comments.

Sing Praise!

I am determined to use my talents to further God's Kingdom. It is a decision I made on Sept. 12, 2001, when I cancelled the last gig on my calendar. It was scheduled for Sept. 14, somewhere in Connecticut with Roger Guimond's Bellydancer. With what the world was going through, there was no way I was going to cross the Tapan Zee bridge to spend the night in a smokey bar singing Bobbie McGee.

For the past decade, I have reserved my singing for God only. I've sang in different churches, learned all new songs, written a new album's worth of new material and met many amazing people along the way. My walk hasn't been perfect. And it hasn't been very fast, but if you put enough baby steps together, you can cover a lot of ground.

As I made the bold decision to leave my paying job, God assured me that He Will Provide. I know, it might sound like crazy talk, saying I asked the Creator of the Universe to give me concrete direction and he obliged. You might call it a coincidence — not more than 15 minutes after I asked God for a sign, I got an email inviting me to sing at the GEMS conference — but I've experienced too many coincidences to believe in random chance anymore.

I don't have a specific big goal in mind. I just want to use my talents to sing God's praises and to go where He leads me. If you need a singer, please think of me. And also, please like my new Facebook page. I hope to start posting songs and videos there soon. (For now it's just links to Rambling Rebecca!)

Thank you all for the encouragement and support!

New Beginnings

On Wednesday, I stepped off a cliff. I walked away from good paying job in a bad economy with nothing more than blind faith and a handful of freelance leads.

Crazy, isn’t it?

I am confident (audaciously confident) that God will provide for me and my family. He will provide.

Provided, that is, that I do my part. I need to take care of the precious gifts He has bestowed me: a great family, good friends, many talents, a free country, multiple church families, good health, and abundance that borders on obscene.

Other things I need to do:

• be grateful for all that I have and grateful that I have it so good.
• stop getting distracted by shiny objects and storefronts.
• be a good wife and mother (see Proverbs 31)
• accept this—and every—moment in time for exactly what it is.
• clean this house!!!

Day 1: Filling the Bucket — Bill Hybels-Style

My first day of freedom was spent at the Global Leadership Summit. The Willow Creek Association put together an outstanding speaker lineup. I was only able to attend one day, but the I came away with so many takeaways.

If you’ve never been to #wcagls, it is something to behold. People of all different backgrounds and denominations gathered simultaneously across the globe with one thing in common: Belief that GOD’s Word is still alive in GOD’s World. GOD IS still in control, He does Still Have the Power, and In Him, all things are possible.

Even in a venue of 125 or so people (of whom I knew four), it was still a very powerful, moving, magnificent, awe-inspiring experience. (Of course, such a bold international event can draw controversy, and regardless of what Bill Hybles says, I feel lead to boycott Starbucks...especially since I can no longer expense it on the pCard...)

Here are some insights I gathered from the day. These aren’t direct quotes, just random impressions:

• Everything is more powerful set to music. — Rev. Steven Furtick

• If you want to write, write. If you want to sing, sing. — Seth Godin

• The Holy Spirit will give you the power to do the things in his name that he has called you to do. — Rev. Brenda Salter McNeiil

• When someone says, “God told me” they are never 100% sure it was God talking. They are 55-plus-percent confident. — Furtick

• Start in Jerusalem (your community). Go to Judea (a little further down the road) learn the customs, learn from the people. Share Christ’s compassion. And if he calls you to Samaria (the place where evil reigns supreme), Go. Pray hard, but go.— Rev. Brenda

• Don’t just pray, fast and pray. And stand with others as they fast and pray. ... A bundle of sticks can’t easily be broken. ... What you see around you is a reflection of what is inside you ...When you clean up what is inside you, you can clean up your surroundings....There is no such thing as an obstacle, just an opportunity. — Cory Booker

• The new economy is based on entrpreneurialism. ... Anyone can be a success. Anyone can be a failure. ... People who succeed are those who know it is ok to fail. ... Be smart. Don’t invest more than you can afford to. — Lee Schlessinger

• If you want something bad enough, you will do anything it takes to get it. Sell the sofa if you have to. You will do what you need to and get the job done. —Bill Hybles

• Do what you enjoy ... Be your own boss. ... He who owns the machine, has all the power. — Seth Godin

• We are used to saying Please and Thank you. But with God it is Thank you than please. (And it might be nice to say it in that order with people as well.) — Furtick

• Follow God’s leading....Dig lots of Ditches...God will make it rain...Only God can make it rain. — Furtick (Elisha Rocks!)

• Our country was founded on the backs of righteous men and women who stood in the Gap. Who did the right thing.—Booker

• Just do the next thing....Don’t worry about the destination, just do the next thing...Don’t worry about what to do next...Do the next right thing...Make your next move...Move from here to there....Take baby steps....Lead where you are.

• God will guide and support you the whole way. Just stop and pray. Remember to stop and pray.

• No matter what you are called to do, give it all you've got....Even if you are called to be a stay at home mom, give it all you got. Be audacious.—Furtick

That was a lot to take in for just one day, right? I want to thank Gracepoint Church for their kindness and hospitality. Even though I came by myself, I never felt alone. I promise to come back and visit soon.

Now, to tackle the 8-months-worth of grime on the kitchen floor. God help me!