Some of My Best Friends are Gay

I don't know if that headline is as offensive as the racist version of that phrase and I certainly don't intend it that way. It's the truth: Some of my favorite people are gay or lesbian. Lifelong friends and family members who are in committed, loving same-sex relationships or seek to be. I am a firm supporter of gay marriage and I cannot understand the hoopla of protests against it. Marriage is a serious commitment and if two people want to share their lives together and celebrate their love in a marriage ceremony, why should anyone interfere?

Kevin & Patrick eating their wedding cake! I don't think I've ever seen Kevin so happy!! 

As a Christian, it used to be difficult to rectify my love of my gay friends and family members with the typical Christian stance that homosexuality is a sin. I been told to "love the sinner, hate the sin." But in truth, I don't hate "the sin" of homosexuality. I hate the way society treats my gay friends.

I remember when one of my childhood friends came out in college. It wasn't a surprise, but when the realization of his "lifestyle" hit me, I was so terribly sad for him. I was dating random guy after random guy, and it was perfectly fine for me to walk into the diner holding "man of the week's" hand and to kiss him goodbye in front of people, but my friend wasn't free to do that with his longtime boyfriend. (And still isn't) It didn't seem fair, and it didn't make sense.

These guys always sat so far apart. Who could've guessed they were a couple? 

I have been Christian my whole life, but it wasn't until I started attending a "Bible-believing" church that I found out "the truth" that "homosexuality is a sin". It says so in the Bible. When I found out, I was really surprised I didn't learn about this in Sunday School. There were a few years where I prayed for my gay friends to be "healed" of this sin. And then, by accident, I found The Christian Left.


There is a wonderful (albeit long and somewhat irreverent) article, "Clobbering Biblical Gay Bashing," that put a completely different spin on the Bible's stance on homosexuality. Here are some brief key points from Rev. Mark Sandlin's post:

borrowed from www.theGodarticle.com 

1. When you say "love the sinner, hate the sin" and the "sin" is "being homosexual", you are actually telling the person that you hate who they are. This is not a Christian attitude.


2. The concept of sexual orientation and homosexuality did not exist until the 1800s. The Bible was written long before that. And it was not written in English. Anything that has been translated to read "homosexual" is an inaccurate translation, because the term and concept of homosexuality didn't exist.


3. Rev. Sandlin then points to several "clobber" verses and explains how in the original Greek and Aramaic, the Bible authors are not talking about monogamous, loving, same-sex relationships. For example, Genesis 19:1-11 and the "sin of Sodom," which many say the sin is sodomy, but I read it as forceable rape of other men. Other verses, like Leviticus 18:22, refer to pagan practices of making "offerings" to temple prostitutes.


I have asked several of my Biblical scholar friends to read Rev. Sandlin's article and, if it is not accurate, to write up a detailed refute of it or call me to explain how it should be refuted, and thus far, no one has. I have been told it is the "same old liberal gibberish," or the article is "irreverent," but I have not been told specifically what is wrong with Rev. Sandlin's assertions.

The girl in the black suit crashed my 10-speed when we were kids, but I love her regardless. And how pretty is her wife??? 

(Side note: If you would like to explain how Rev. Sandlin's article is wrong, using scholarly language and not name calling, please either email me or post it on your own blog and share your link in the comments, or leave a detailed comment explaining where Rev. Sandlin is wrong or misguided. But please keep it to a scholarly argument and not just that he is "irreverent" or "liberal" or "misguided." And please note, if you email me, I reserve the right to quote from your email in my blog.)


One of my "Biblical scholar" friends told me that homosexuality has been growing over the past decade and it is an epidemic of sin. Shortly after my conversation with him, I found out that as late as the 1960s, IT WAS ILLEGAL TO BE GAY!


I was completely shocked to find out that "gay bars" were routinely raided as illegal; that people could be fired for being gay (and still can in some states!); that it wasn't until 1961 that the first state (Illinois) removed anti-sodomy laws from their books and it wasn't until 2003 that the Supreme Court declared anti-sodomy laws unconstitutional. Of course there are more openly gay people today than a generation ago. IT WAS ILLEGAL TO BE GAY 50 years ago.


I brought my questions about Rev. Sandlin's article to my childhood pastor (at the church where I never learned homosexuality was a sin), and he explained that he has studied the issue extensively, initially with the belief that "homosexuality is a sin" but as he studied the original texts, he found the opposite is true. He affirmed the key points in the Clobbering Biblical Gay Bashing article.

This is a happily married couple of three years, with a baby! (And I could not be more HAPPY for them!) 

Another really good article I read this week: Six Things Straight People Should Stop Saying About Gay People. The key points:

Don't use the phrase "gay lifestyle." Gay people have lives, not “lifestyles”.

Don't say that same-sex parts don't work together. God is a clever designer. And (TMI, perhaps) the parts do fit and work quite well for same-sex loving couples.

Homosexuality is a natural expression of human sexuality.

People do not change sexual orientation. Christian groups that have claimed otherwise are starting to recant their testimonials. 

Marriage is a civil right in the US. Denying marriage to consenting adults is violating civil rights of others. 

The Bible is being wrongly used to discriminate against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. 

The bottom line, for me, is that I choose to embrace loving, monogamous couples regardless of who they are. Love is love. I will not choose hate and discrimination, and claim I am upholding Biblical truths. I support gay marriage and will continue to fight for my friends' civil rights until my dying breath if need be, but I really hope I won't need to!  

Kevin & Patrick's wedding ceremony. I wish I could have been there! 

Special thanks to all my friends who allowed me to use their private photos in this post. I love you all and have such respect for you for having the courage to just be yourself! Thanks for being wonderful examples and role models, and I am sorry for any discrimination you have faced from society and especially from the Christian community. 


For further reading: 



What does Leviticus 18:22 really mean?


Do You Love Us Enough To Hear Our Heart?