Please Help Reunite This Family

My rational mind cannot make sense of this. This morning, a couple spoke at Community Bible Study and told a story I just cannot wrap my head around.

For 593 days, Major John Jackson and his wife Carolyn have been in a fight with DYFS for their five children. To see and hear the couple, it is unfathomable that they don't have their children. They appear to be a God-fearing and God-honoring family. The husband is in the military and the wife is well-spoken, poised and sincere.

I know that I have only heard their side of the story, and I know that I can be naive, always believing the best in people. But even if only a kernel of their story is true, this is still an outrageous travesty and miscarriage of justice. I will try to make sense of it.

The back story: In 2006, the Jacksons, who already had three biological children, adopted a little boy named Joshua. He was born addicted to drugs and six-months premature. In his short life, he endured multiple hospital visits (during one of which he developed MRSA) and multiple surgeries. In 2008, he died from a congenital seizure disorder.

According to the Jacksons, the death was investigated by both State and Federal agencies (because they lived on a military base), as per protocol, and they were cleared of any culpabilities in his death.

A month after Joshua's death, the couple became foster parents to two little girls (their cousins) under an interstate agreement between Indiana and NJ DYFS. They had to pass home studies and DYFS scrutiny and in July 2009, the Jacksons formally adopted the two girls. The next month, John was deployed to Iraq.

For Thanksgiving and Christmas, with John still in Iraq, Carolyn took their five children to visit family in Indiana. When they returned home in January, the entire family came down with the flu. The baby, Chaya, was taken to the hospital and treated for extreme dehydration. In follow-up visits with the family doctor, the child was diagnosed with failure to thrive, and underwent monthly doctor visits and blood draws.

The injustice: In April 2010, Chaya became sick again, and was taken to St. Clare's hospital in Dover, N.J., then transferred to Morristown Memorial Hospital. There, a social worker who remembered the couple from Joshua's trips to the hospital, became suspicious ad contacted DYFS. According the Jacksons, the social worker failed to check records and told DYFS that Joshua died at home (instead of in the hospital where he actually died) and was cremated before an autopsy (which he actually had).

Instead of verifying the facts, DYFS did the unthinkable. They removed all the children from their care, citing imminent danger. They did not get a court order or followed the routine channels. Instead they took all five children from their home and split them into three homes. The children were denied comfort items from home. As a mom, the thought of Dan being denied his puppy and blanket — because they are reminders of home — is completely unfathomable. The kids were also denied family prayer books and even their Bibles.

The unbelievable: The DYFS that took these children from their home is the same Social Service organization that failed to act on allegations of abuse of children who ultimately died in both Newark and Irvington. Is the agency overcompensating now? If so, I think they are sorely off the mark.

John and Carolyn Jackson appear to be upstanding, Godly people. They are well spoken. They are hurting. They are standing firm on God's promises with a faith I hope I am never forced to display.

I feel very powerless that there isn't more I can do to bring justice for this family. I can send a letter to Gov. Christie. I can pray. I can send money for their legal fund. But that, and this little blog to try to bring awareness, really doesn't feel like much.

I heard they have a Facebook page, but I couldn't find it. I did find links to other articles about the Jackson Seven:

http://reunitejackson7.blogspot.com/

http://reunitejackson7.webs.com/

http://joyfulwith3.blogspot.com/2011/04/reunite-jackson-7-tell-nj-dyfs-to.html

Please pray that this family can be reunited soon. (And please, hug your kids extra tight!)

Green Grappling

My first Earth Day as a mother sent me on a green spin for a while. I opted for Ecologically-friendly alternatives for everything I did. I started recycling religiously, stopped buying petroleum-based cleaning products, and even cloth diapered for a little while.

I felt good. I felt smug. And maybe just a little superior. But by the next Earth Day my greening was seriously waning, with the exception of my Green Cleaner and recycling.

Last Spring, as editor of Franklin Lakes Patch, I produced a Green Patch series for Earth Day. One article for each work day in April. In doing so, I discovered that recycling is actually big business. Our garbage is our largest export, and in this down market, commodities like paper and steel are actually thriving.

In interviews with local garbage and recycling companies, I found out that recycling helps the economy at the local level. Municipalities are actually get paid by the companies who pick up our recycling, which off sets our taxes. American paper products are particularly valuable. China is paying good money for our paper because our tree-derived pulp is superior to their rice paper.

With this knowledge in hand, I no longer feel guilty about the huge pile of paper I recycle each month. Instead can rejoice while buying a box of two soy milks, that I'm not only saving a dollar, I'm helping to generate to offset my property taxes. Or something like that.

Guilt-Free Gift Guide

Looking for Christmas gifts that doesn't leave you feeling guilty? Here are a few ideas:

Toys Made in the USA: Pure Play Kids sells natural, battery-free creative toys and play things, most of which were made in America (or Europe) and produced under environmentally friendly conditions. From infants to grade school, the company offers a wide selection of toys you can feel good giving.

A Hand-Up: The nonprofit Kiva.org provides micro loans to small businesses around the globe. Kiva users can lend as little as $25 (which is repaid 100-percent) to their choice of more than 3,500 small businesses around the world. A Kiva Gift Card is a feel-good gift that can be recycled over and over again as the loans are repaid.

The Gift of Life: By the end of 2011, close to 1 million people living in third world countries will die from malaria. Enter the Moskeeto HoodE, a technologically advanced garment that repels insects, including mosquitos that carry malaria. For just $22, you can purchase a Moskeeto HoodE to protect someone living in an area where malaria is prevalent.

Educational Opportunities: In America, we take going to school for granted. But just across the Texas border, children in Juarez, Mexico, don't get a free-education. For $35 a month, or $420 a year, you can sponsor a child's education in one of the poorest and dangerous communities in the Northern Hemisphere.

Clean Water: Nearly 1 BILLION people do not have access to safe, clean drinking water. For as little as $10, you can make a difference thanks to The Water Project. The organization does more than just dig wells in Africa, they engage communities and help to change lives.

Have any suggestions for guilt-free gifts? Share them in the comments!

I AM AN AMERICAN

Whenever I am asked my nationality, I always say, "American." The typical response is, "Well, yeah, we are all American. I mean, where is your family from?"

My family is from America. I'm not Irish American, or German American, or Swedish American. I am American. English-Irish-Scottish-Welsh-German-Swedish-Dutch 14th generation American.

My first ancestor came to America in the first half of the 1600s. Richard Stout settled in Salem, Mass. in mid-1630s. From there, he moved to Gravesend, NY.

His future wife, Penelope Kent Van Princes, came to America in 1639. She was born in 1622 in Holland and came to America with her first husband on their honeymoon. On the passage over, her husband got sick. The voyage ended when then were shipwrecked on the Jersey Shore (at Sandy Hook). The rest of the passengers travelled on to safety, but Penelope's husband was too sick, so she stayed behind with him.

According to legend, the Indians came, killed her husband, scalped her and left her for dead. She was reportedly disemboweled and crawled to safety in a hollowed out tree where she subsisted off maple sap for days until she was rescued by other indians (Kind Navesink/Leni Lenape Indians). These "Good Samaritan" indians took her back to their camp, nursed her back to health and allowed her to live among them — as an equal.

From what I understand, Penelope lived with the Indians in what is now Monmonth County, NJ, for about a year. At that time, her people came back for her. The Old Indian who saved her life asked her if she wanted to stay with the Indians who treated her so well or go back with her own people, who basically left her for dead. She missed her culture and her religion, so she went with them back to Gravesend.

Years later, she returned to Monmonth County where she and her second husband, Richard Stout, are said to have purchased property from the Indians and co-existed peacefully with them. (I don't know if that is really a fact, or just legend.) My family has pretty much stayed in New Jersey ever since.

I am 14th Generation American. My family tree has some interesting people on it: Abe Lincoln (sixth cousin, fourth removed), John Bowne (author of the Flushing Remonstrance, which was later taken nearly word for word as the Freedom of Religion doctrine of the Bill of Rights), and revolutionary war general, Mad Anthony Wayne. (But I think my coolest ancestor is my Great Aunt Carol, who was a Roxyette, the dance troupe precursor to the famous Rockettes.)

I am the 14th generation of my family born in America.

I AM AN AMERICAN.

Taking Christianity to the Streets

We all have walls. I live in an area that's just spacious enough that I see my neighbors sporadically, rarely even. I don't really know most people who live on my street. Except for the ones with kids, which aren't many, and I don't even know all of those.

We stay inside and see each other in passing. Extended conversations during power failures, and when fire trucks or ambulances stop on our street. And the only time we ring our neighbor's doorbells are on Halloween. The rest of the time, we hide behind our walls.

One of the things I find interesting about Occupy Wall Street is that people are taking to the streets and not hiding behind walls anymore. That includes faith communities. A loosely organized group of pastors calling themselves The Protest Chaplains have emerged from the Occupy movement. It is inspiring to see.

On Sundays, they hold interfaith services in Zuccotti Park. (Yesterday, The Council of Elders from the Civil Rights movement spoke. I wished I could have been there! I hope to find footage to watch.)

After the protestors were kicked out of the park last Tuesday, many churches in the area opened their doors to occupiers, showing genuine Christian hospitality. It makes me happy to see Christians openly acting like Christians should.

One thing I hope comes out of Occupy Wall Street is that we tear all our walls down.

Month of Discontent Cont'd (Part 5)

I fell behind (again) on my discontents. Let's see if I can pull this together quickly.

Nov. 16. I hate that I don't appreciate all the good things that I have more often.

Nov. 17. I hate unfair labor practices. I hate that feel I have to choose between affordable and humane. I hate that the toys my kid wants for Christmas are probably made by kids, in sweatshops.

Nov. 18. I hate that people, online, would rather argue about philosophical difference than collaborate on points they agree upon to come up with a common solution.

Nov. 19. I hate that a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch. Many people are wholesale dismissing the Occupy Movement because of the actions of a few.

Nov. 20. I hate how much clutter I have accumulated. How much junk we have! (And how much effort it seems to take to get rid of it!)

Nov. 21. I hate that my preschooler completely hates naps. But then crashes at about 4 p.m. and is super cross if you try to make him get up!!!

Christmas Shopping Dilemna

I am having a disconnect between my conscience and my pocketbook this Christmas. I don't want to spend a lot of money. I don't want to be inconvenienced. I don't want to use credit cards. And most importantly, I don't want to violate my personal ethics.

Growing up in Mall Capital of America, I want to avoid traffic, malls and parking at all costs. Enter online shopping. No crowds, no traffic, no hassles. And paying with debit cards or paypal ensures I don't overspend and increase my debt.

But this year, I'm having a problem justifying online shopping. Over the summer, there were some exposes about unsafe working conditions in Amazon.com factories. That's something that I just cannot support.

I also don't think I can shop at Kohl's anymore. It's tempting when a 30% off coupon arrives in the mail, but of course, you have to use your credit card to take advantage of the coupon. Plus, I find most Kohl's clothes fall apart pretty quickly.

The big sticking point for me is knowing that many of the clothes were made in China and other countries without fair labor practices. For all I know, it was made by some little kid who spends 10 to 12 hours a day in a factory instead of playing outside.

I am hoping to be able to make the right choice in purchasing presents this year. (I shutter to think where McQueen and Thomas are made!!)

Have any good American-made gift ideas? Know of a place to shop online or locally for it?

Can OWS Change Anything?

For the last two months, I have been watching the Occupy Wall Street movement pretty intently. I haven't made it to an occupation yet, but I know some people who have. So between some friend and organizations I follow on Facebook and Twitter, I've been getting a daily dose of news without having to leave the comfort of my home.

At times, I have been glued to the live stream. Yesterday, they were arresting people. Non-violent, peaceful resistance person after person. Not sure what law they were breaking, but they were in violation of something, I'm sure. As people chanted, "Stop and Frisk has got to go! We say no to the new Jim Crow!" person after person was flex cuffed by police, in a seemingly polite and orderly fashion, as an Occupy Wall Street film crew interviewed each person being arrested. Some had plenty to say. Some had nothing to say.

It was mesmerizing. Intoxicating. Entertaining.

I don't know what to make of the whole movement. The movement has been criticized for not having clear demands, for being in violation of laws and for just being dirty (and possibly lazy). Of being a bunch of anarchists and radicals.

One think I am sure of: Occupy Wall Street has started a conversation. A very important conversation about political inequality and corruption of corporate America. This conversation has been a long time in the making and I am glad that it is finally getting the attention it deserves. (And yes, I believe in personal responsibility for the poor as well as the rich.)

Today, I discovered the movement has produced a "New Common Sense," doctrine. I haven't read through the entire thing. I think it takes its name from Thomas Paine's Common Sense and it reads similar to the beginning of the Declaration of Independence.

Here's the beginning:

Common Sense from the "99%"

Introduction and Preamble

"When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for the Citizens of a Nation to petition their own Government for a redress of grievances, the People have a duty to exercise their rights under the First Amendment collectively if they so choose. To this end, We the People hereby assert our right to peacefully assemble and petition our Government for redress when we feel that this is our best, and perhaps only remaining option to seek remedies.

"We affirm that any lasting and workable solution must reach beyond mere politics, that political issues do not matter at a time when our collective voice has been nearly silenced. We believe that the current political climate has caused a paralysis of our Government. We find that our individual opinions mean little when we are no longer being properly represented. In fact, we believe that the Balance of Power between the Branches of our Government has been corrupted to the point where it can answer only to members of an affluent and politically active upper class. The impending result of this imbalance is that government of the People, by the People, for the People has almost perished from Our Nation. We believe that government has been influenced by an external source that has conspired to control it to the point of stalemate. We believe that this was forced upon us by “special interests”, corporations, lobbyists, the banking and the financial sector including Wall Street and the Federal Reserve, who together have used unrestrained financial leverage leading to the corruption of many politicians, regardless of their political party, resulting in great damage to the People and to this Nation.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all are created equal regardless of their financial status. — That we free Citizens of the United States are without exception endowed under a Federal Constitution granting us certain unalienable Rights. — That among these Rights are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure and protect these rights, our forefathers drafted this Constitution, ratified by the then several States and agreed to by the People. — That this Constitution defines and protects us all with a system of Checks and Balances by which the powers and responsibilities of government would be divided amongst the Federal, the States and the People. — That this original Social Contract in which those powers were granted has been repeatedly violated by the Federal government. — That we no longer are represented by our Government. — That we no longer have a voice in our Government. — That the limits of power of the Federal Government have been deliberately and repeatedly breached. — That our Government has become destructive towards the vast majority of the same People that they are supposed to protect. — That outside influences have gained unreasonable power and influence within our Government. — That the Fair Election system is being systematically dismantled and no longer allows for a full, on paper, verification and accounting of actual balloting. — That We the People have the Fundamental Right and Patriotic Duty under the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights to peacefully assemble and to demand that the Government cease and desist from or correct any of these violations. — That the Government cede back to the States and to the People all such Powers that they have unconstitutionally seized, regaining such Powers from the States via Constitutional Amendment if they are to have them at all. — That our Government must Right these encroachments on the People by realigning itself to the Constitution. — That vague interpretations of the Constitution should be clarified through civil discourse leading to a series of new Amendments and with full participation by the several States."

The full text can be found here: http://anoncentral.tumblr.com/post/12409353866/for-the-99-the-new-common-sense-must-distribute. I admit I haven't read the whole thing, so for all I know it posts ludicrous anarchist, antidisestablismentarianism demands (The big word used is one I was taught as a child was the longest word in the dictionary, and I think I am actually using it appropriately, but as always, I could be wrong....)

As I said, I don't know what to make of the whole thing, but I appreciate that the conversation has been started, and I admire the sacrifice people have made to bring the conversation to the forefront. I hope the conversation continues to productive change.

What do you think of Occupy Wall Street and The New Common Sense?

More Discontent (part 4)

Nov. 13: I hate cancer. I found out today that a friend has breast cancer. She is a wonderful, sweet, caring woman of God, with an itty baby and a huge heart. I am standing on Faith that she will be healed. My heart completely breaks for her though.

Nov. 14: I hate whining. I hate hearing my son whine. I hate hearing other people's kids whine. I hate listening to grown people whine. But most of all, I hate it when I whine. (Don't think the irony of whining making the Discontented list is lost on me...)

Nov. 15: I hate fighting. I personally hate having arguments with people, but I also hate witnessing other people's arguments. The anger, things said in the heat of the moment that can't be taken back. Out of control actions, intentionally hurting others. I hate it.

30 Days of Discontent, Part 3

Nov. 12: I hate when people badmouth God. When they don't have respect for the creator of the Universe. When they call belief in God ridiculous. Or a fairytale. Or the natural reaction of dimwitted individuals. I cannot begin to explain how angry this gets me.

I have gotten into a habit of reading HuffPo Religion articles and the comments, which are awful. An article posted on Veteran's Day spoke about how churches are reaching out to returning Veterans. The comments were horrific: The church is manipulating our returning vets. Haven't the vets been deceived enough already? Churches are always on the lookout for new prey. The key to praying is talking to yourself and believing something intelligent is listening.

I get really burned up reading these comments. I have even commented to the contrary a few times and been personally attacked, so I try not to say anything any more. I know I shouldn't even read them, they make me so mad.

And I can't really explain why I get so angry about it. I don't think I feel personally insulted, like it is my belief that is under attack. There are plenty of things that I feel strongly about that others don't have to agree with and I don't get this upset. Make fun of my clothes, my choice of music, my favorite TV shows. That may annoy me, or embarrass me. But it doesn't come close to evoking this same level of anger in me.

I guess I am just completely offended that people can talk about the God of the Universe like that. I don't know how to respond or reply to it. I do have some friends who are nonbelievers, and we have interesting and respectful discussions, which I am completely OK with. But when people openly mock God, that gets me mad.

30 Days of Discontent, Part 2

Somehow I got a full week behind on my posting. Here is a quick rundown of more discontents.

Nov. 5: I hate that marriage is so disposable in our culture. I am lucky to come from a happily married family and to be in a good marriage. Growing up, I was one of the only one of my friends whose parents were still married. Today, I see marriages collapsing all around me (and not just the Kardashian variety). Sure, marriage is unbelievably hard work at times and the concept of forever is hard to swallow some days, but that's what marriage is.

Nov. 6: I hate that the laundry never ends. Yes, I am grateful to have clothes to wash, and a washer-dryer in my basement so I don't have to go to the laundromat, but there is always another load to be done, folded and put away. It never ends and I can never seem to get ahead.

Nov. 7: I hate Daylight Savings Time. Changing the clocks screws up my internal clock every time. And now that I am a mother, the ways it messes with my kid's sleep really makes for a bad week.

Nov. 8: I hate politics. I hate political commercials where one candidate just bashes the other. I have no idea what is fully true, what is outright false and what falls somewhere in between. I vote because it is my right, privilege, and duty, but I don't fully engage the process because I feel like everyone is lying and I don't know where the truth stands. It makes my brain hurt.

Nov. 9: I hate junk mail. For starters, it is mostly someone trying to sell me something and I don't even look at it. It is a waste of many resources — paper, ink, postage, to name a few — but it also contributes to my overall clutter problem. The sheer volume of junk mail received in this house is overwhelming. I even paid a service to opt out of junk mail, but it clearly didn't work.

Nov. 10: I hate procrastination. To look at the way I operate in life, you would think that I love to procrastinate. That I must get a rush out of putting things off to the last minute. But in reality, it stresses me out. I hate the way that I continue to put things off — that need to be done — until the last minute.

Nov. 11: I hate war. On Veteran's Day, I am extremely grateful for the sacrifices brave men and women have made for our country and the world. But I hate that war exists. I hate that families are missing loved ones overseas right now. According to iCausualties.org, Operation Enduring Freedom has resulted in 2,798 coalition fatalities and Operation Iraqi Freedom has resulted in 4,801 coalition fatalities. And those are just the figures for people fighting on OUR side.

30 Days of Discontent

Many of my FB friends are doing 30 Days of Gratitude for November. I'm having a hard time getting in the spirit of it and instead feel like posting 30 Days of Discontent. I will update this as the month goes on:

Nov. 1: I hate that so many people lie. Little lies, big lies. We are surrounded by lies. Politicians, bosses, employees, friends, neighbors. Everyone lies. Even I lie. Whether a white lie to my kid or begging off a social engagement because I'd rather lay on the couch and watch Real Housewives.

I can't count the number of times I've committed the biggest lie of our time: "I have read and accept these terms and conditions." Sure, it is a harmless lie, but I still hate that lying is normal, accepted and expected in our society.

Nov. 2: I hate feeling like everyone had their hand in my pocketbook. From "charities" to commercials to the cable company, everyone is trying to separate me from my money. We are blessed to have so much, but I feel like I can never get ahead.

Nov. 3: I hate that poverty exists. I lead a fairly sheltered life, so I don't need to confront poverty face to face on a regular basis. But I know it exists. I know that I have it so good in my warm suburban home, and I am grateful for it. I donate food and clothing to the church's mission closet, but it feels like teaspoons in the ocean.

Update: Nov. 4: I hate that ministries and ministers sometimes come off as greedy. It gives all Christians a bad name. For instance, this story tells about a bankrupt church whose pastor was allegedly collecting a lavish salary. It doesn't say how much he was getting paid, but still, stories like these do not do anything to glorify God. In fact, it turns a lot of people off of Christianity. And I really hate that.